OK, SMS Guys Read, (and Tom Angleberger!). Here’s our first attempt at an IRBG video. We ended up having to save some things for later videos, in the interest of time. And in the interest of getting our video done this week.
We’ve read the first four chapters in Horton Halfpott. We’re enjoying it so far. It certainly has inspired some lunchtime silliness.
Ready for our first video? Here ya go!
Obligatory posting of Twitter reactions from Tom Angleberger:
@MrShafferTMCE loved the dancing! Loved the cobbler! Loved the commercial!—
(@OrigamiYoda) February 10, 2012
Click on to read the full text of Abbas’ and Leo’s fantastic attempts at deciphering Tom Angleberger’s cryptic backstory allusions.
Here’s Abbas’ “M’Lady Luggertuck Tries a Waltz”:
Many years ago in Smugwick Manor, a very skinny lady named Miss Dumlit worked up the guts to finally ask M’Lady Luggertuck for a ball she had been hoping for, since the beginning of time. Now, M’Lady Luggertuck usely said no to every request, but this question had never been asked before, and she thought that this might be a good opportunity to show off her “beautiful waltz,” so she said yes, and that very night, the ball was held in Smugwick Manor. Halfway through the dance, the announcer said, “Time for a waltz,” in an artificially thick English accent; so M’Lady made her move, she quickly waddled over to a rich Chinese man, named Pow-ling who had been visiting from China for business reasons. She grabbed him and started doing the waltz in a very fast and not so fluid method, as you can imagine. Then the swirling part started, and five seconds later, they were both on the floor. “下车我疯狂胖女人!!” Or, “Wǒ xià chē, nǐ fēngle de pàng nǚrén!!” Or, “Get off me, you crazy fat lady!!” screamed Pow-ling. Suddenly, the music stopped and everyone stared at the blob of a lady and a very confused Chinese man in a pile on the floor.
And even since the ball all other ball requests were denied and anyone who ever mentioned the ball would be a head shorter (if you know what I mean).
And here’s Leo’s “M’Lady Luggertuck and the Unlucky Cobbler”:
M’Lady Luggertuck was one of those nasty, spoiled, obese and bratty sorts of people, who would always want the best from everyone, and the worst for everyone, for example, the cobbler. Specifically, a certain cobbler that this story is named after.
So when M’Lady Luggertuck waddled up to the cobbler’s shop to buy the new, old fashioned twinkle-toe high heels, the cobbler said that they had not been designed yet and that they were a thing of the future. But M’Lady Luggertuck demanded that he make them “right here, right now.” The cobbler said that he was not Thomas Edison (who had not been born yet) and the he had no idea how to make shoes light up, or that anyone even would make such a shoe.
So M’Lady Luggertuck said that she would have all her servants shred the shoes that he made and destroy his business. And so he did. And because M’Lady’s corset had not been loosened yet, the police didn’t dare to go anywhere near her, let alone stop her from doing whatever she wanted to do. And that is the story of the unfortunate cobbler, whose name was not Thomas Edison.
What do you think? Are these stories pretty close to the real thing? I think they came out great!